ralliesprotests | Ainmhian IC Inbox

[Oh how Lucas wishes it was a booty call.]

I'm...not really sure. We need to go talk to Rowan, I saw something on the tomes earlier and they...I don't know how to put it and it's just better if we both get the full scoop from them?

[Max will find Lucas is just as concerned, peering up with pale searching eyes.]

They're waiting for us in their room.

On the tomes?

[He's almost tempted to make Lucas show him, but he decides he doesn't want to take the time. They need to see Rowan now.]

Okay, then let's get over there.

[He takes off in the direction of Rowan's room. He knows the way by heart.]

Rowan's at least managed to throw actual clothes on, and shifted to the chair where they can curl up and the other two won't be able to sit with them. It's not ideal, but it'll remove the temptation of trying to distract them, and also make it easier if Max or Lucas or both do decide to leave.

They do manage to smile when the two of them arrive, though it doesn't quite wipe the shadows from their eyes. "Hey. Did Lucas show you, Max?" They ask, straight away. Might as well get this over with. "It's still open on my tome if not." They indicate the book sitting on the bed with a sweep of their hand, open once again to the forth and back between Ren and Silent.

"No...not yet..."

He feels like he's swallowed a ball of lead as he goes to their tome to watch the interaction. The feeling only worsens now that he's finished it. Rowan has two mates? But they said... Wait. Two? And now he and Lucas are here.

"She means us, doesn't she?"

Silent is... strange. Could it be a misunderstanding? But if that's all it is then why does Rowan look like they are about to be sick?

"What's going on?"

"She means you." Rowan confirms, licking their lips nervously. "I told her. And Ren."

Their pale gaze drifts from one man to the other. "I should have told you, but I didn't think either of them would mention it. It's... Look, there's nothing to me. I fight all the time, but I don't never do any damage. I can't protect either of you, not if sommat happens. And not from them neither. This weren't long after the party." They add, for context, looking at Max again, since they already told Lucas that.

"But if they think you're both mine, I knew they'd respect that. And that they'd keep an eye out for you. If I couldn't." They shift, uneasily. "They're both more powerful than I ever could be."

Lucas swallows around the sudden lump in his throat, watching them carefully while they speak. There's that phrase again: There's nothing to me. On its own he could take it at face value, but the nagging feeling that's been bothering him since the bonfire. Something else is going on.

"Come on, Rowan," He pleads, coming around to to the side of the bed closest to where they're sitting. He worries his hands together, every signal they are sending warns him off from reaching out just yet. "No bullshit here...whatever the hell's going on, you can tell us. You've been here for both us, can't we do the same for you?"

Max is close behind Lucas, settling near enough to touch him. But the one he wants to reach for now is Rowan, and they feel farther away then they've ever been.

It all goes back to that bonfire night. Something else was going on. He'd known it then. He chose to ignore it. He can't do that anymore.

"Why them, Rowan? Why did you tell them we are your mates and not us? When I asked you before you... you told me you didn't feel that way about people. Is it all just for show?"

"That weren't a lie, Max. I can't have relationships, so I don't let myself. It's easier not to get too close." And that's the problem right there, isn't it? They let both of them get too close. And now the idea of losing one or both of them shakes them to their core.

Worse still, they only have themself to blame.

"I don't want to lie to you no more, but I can't... I'm not allowed to tell the truth, and if you did you'd hate me." They draw their knees up to their chest, curling in even further, hiding tears that start to fall. "You'll both want to leave me and I... I just can't."

Those words...Lucas has spoken them to himself for years. Back home he's in no position for a relationship, it's easier to stick to flings with no strings attached. This place is different. His gaze falls naturally, for a moment, on Max. This place is very different.

He can't stand to watch them curl in on themselves anymore, springing forward off the bed to lay gentle hands to their shoulder and one to clutch at one forearm.

"If...if it's a part of you," he echoes their words to him, "Just as natural as your hair or eye color, then that's all I need to know, too. If you want to tell us, I'm not going to go blabbing about it." He squeezes them, hoping to get all of his meaning across, even the part he can't put into words. "I want to know everything about you, too, Rowan."

His chest twists in on itself, but he holds the words back, and hopes that this is enough to bring them back. He's just as scared of losing them after all this time, but he glances again to Max. Maybe he can convince Rowan to explain?

Edited 2020-10-06 15:29 (UTC)

Max moves forward when Lucas does, taking up their other side, laying hands on their arm so they will be enveloped in love from all around.

"Whatever it is, I couldn't hate you. I could never. You didn't hate me, even after finding out what I really am. You should have run but you didn't. Neither will I." He feels this in his very bones and he puts every ounce of that feeling into his words.

"Why can't you tell us? Is someone forcing you?"

Lucas turning their own words back on them makes their heart shatter. As much as they long to believe it, this isn't the same. This isn't Medium powers, this is being a soldier in a war. A monster in Lucas and Max's eyes, perhaps.

But with Lucas on one side and Max on the other, their hands holding them and surrounding them, they can't deny them. "The Veil Shall Not Be Lifted," they quote, voice shaking. "The Litany. It's to protect you. Protect us. Because humanity would hunt us down." They thought Lucas might be a Hunter at first. Or working for one. The memory pains them and they shrink into themself. There's too much pain here, too many layers of lies. And they don't want to lie any more, they want to be free with Max and Lucas - they'll either be free with them or free of them.

"I'm Garou." They whisper, not meeting either man's gaze, but instead staring down at their knees. It feels so wrong to say it, and they flinch as the words escape, half expecting spirits to appear in front of them, to strike them down. But they don't, and they know the word will mean nothing to the two beside them, so they take another deep breath, and then add, "a werewolf. I'm a werewolf."

The quote is chilling, but at the words humanity would hunt us down now dread creeps up his throat like bile. Rowan says it like they aren't human, but something else. His mind races on what that could be. Back home there's more than a few possibilities, all of them understandable in their own ways why Rowan might want to hide it.

But here?

He waits, holding his breath for the answer he can feel coming. Garou. The word means absolutely nothing to him, but their next draws a soft gasp. A werewolf!? Back home they kept mostly to their forests, he'd never crossed paths with one. But Rowan isn't from his and Max's world. The rules might be different, so he clings hard to his promise. It's a part of them, he reminds himself, trying to find his voice.

"A...a werewolf." He repeats, making sure he heard them correctly. "What does that mean. Where you're from?" His hands squeeze just a little tighter, he's not leaving. He wants to know, needs to know, now more than ever.

Humanity would hunt them...? The wheels are turning in his mind now while Rowan continues. Milla is clearly not human. Ren is... stronger and faster than anyone their size should be. And Rowan is...

A werewolf?

Max gasps. His fingers close tighter around Rowan's arm. Erik had always cautioned him against werewolves. They aren't as civilized, he always said. Not as human as vampires. They let the beast inside rule them.

But that's a lie. Clearly, that's a lie. Rowan isn't like that. Not at all. Is it the difference in worlds? Like Jackie, a vampire but not the same? It has to be. Or... maybe Erik lied.

"I'd never hurt you. No matter what. This doesn't change that so please... tell us more?"

They're still here. Max and Lucas heard the truth and they're still both here, still both holding onto them. Rowan lifts their head, just enough to make eye contact, first with Lucas and then Max. Their head is swimming and stomach aching, but they haven't been struck down and they're still here.

"I'm Rowan Rallies-Protests, galliard of the Gay Agender pack, Glass Walker of the London Bridge Sept." Slowly, hesitantly, they uncurl enough to offer out their hands, one to each. "The Garou are, we're Gaia's chosen warriors, blessed by Luna to protect the earth from the Wyrm.

We ain't like what you see in horror films. I ain't a beast at full moon, but there's a rage within us and for some it burns stronger than others. Silent and Ren, they were both born at the full moon, and they're full of it, that's why they are how they are. I... Neither of you could hurt me. Only by leaving by me. I don't think..." They drop their head again, shaking slightly as tears fall again, breaths turning into sobs. "I've made a mess of everything and I need my pack!"

Almost all those terms go right over Lucas's head, and he wants to know what they mean, because clearly they carry weight for Rowan. There'll be time for that later, because he's not leaving them. Max isn't either.

But it makes the memory he's experienced from them a bit more clear now. The rage in them, winding them tight as a spring, and how they pushed at Ren at the bonfire. It clicks into place, alongside their final cry. How Ami and the others rallied around Rowan at the end of that memory becomes even more important, so he moves without thinking, to wrap one arm half around them and pull in closer, kissing the side of their face.

"It's...we can worry about the rest of that later. Rowan." There's so much to unpack there, but Lucas looks to Max, knowing the man will likely feel the same, and hopefully complete the small circle just like before. "I know...we're not your pack, but, you're not alone. We're not leaving you!"

Max doesn't understand the terms either, but he doesn't need to, because the important stuff comes through regardless.

"No, we're not leaving," Max affirms as he follows Lucas' lead to lean in with his arms wrapped around them both.

"Remember...found families don't replace the old but it does mean you have people here for you. That's what we are. We are here for you now. Thank you for trusting us with this."

The problem that Rowan knows deep down is that without permission, they have already co-opted the other two as pack. Without really realising it themself. They've become their rock, their comfort, and both men are working their magic now, protecting Rowan from their homesickness with a warmth of their own that fills the Garou up from toes to the tip of their hair. They uncurl enough to grab onto both of them, pulling them in closer, sobbing into them as all the worry about losing them and all their grief from losing the contact to their pack and family washes over them, finally released.

But their sobs do eventually slow, and then subside, and Rowan is left between them feeling empty, but at the same time fresh. As though the darkness that's been building between them, keeping them awake or plaguing their nightmares has been washed away by Lucas and Max's love. They lift their head to look at them both in tearstained disbelief. "You both... you're both fucking amazing, you know that, right?" They murmur, through a voice still thick with tears. They struggle for words, gazing from one to the other with unashamed love and adoration. "I thought you'd hate me." If not for the truth of what they are, at least for the lie.

Easily Rowan pulls him in and Lucas also reaches to hook his fingers into the fabric of Max's shirt. Just like before it's a natural comfort, as if they all had known each other for years instead of a few months, slotting together like connecting puzzle pieces. He can't keep his eyes dry while Rowan lets out all their pain, but he does hold them tight. They can ride this all out together.

When the storm clouds part as Rowan finally peeks out, Lucas smiles and nuzzles his nose against their cheek. There's some spark in the way they look at them both that twists in his chest. A very familiar feeling now when he's with Rowan or Max.

"Takes one to know one," He shoots back gently, they are just as amazing, "I can understand why you wouldn't tell us. I mean, it's not like I was being honest, at first. But this place is different, you know?" The feeling in his chest pulls tighter, "There's no way I could hate you, Rowan, I..."

He stops short, the word catching in his throat. Swallowing it down to try again gets him no where, so Lucas looks to Max for back up.

Max makes no attempt to stem the flow from his own eyes while he clings tight to his two loves. Rowan has already held him through his own cleansing tears. He's so happy he can be here to return the favor.

At Lucas' words, Max smiles and squeezes them each with one hand. His nod of agreement says it all. Yes, he's sad that they lied, and he will always be a little sad about that, but he understands. After all, he's keeping his own secret, for Jackie. How can he ever expect forgiveness for that if he isn't willing to give his own now?

Lucas looks at him and Max smiles. If the Medium needs help finding the words, Max can provide them.

"We love you, Rowan." There, if Lucas can't say it himself, Max will say it for both of them. "We could never hate you."

Rowan doesn't understand how the two of them can be so forgiving, so easily forget all the times when they claimed there was nothing interesting about their world, but they're grateful for it, and cling onto them needfully. And they would have told them sooner, if they'd been allowed to.

They open their mouth to tell them both this when Lucas continues and then trails off. Rowan follows his gaze to Max, brow winkling and heart pounding. And Max picks it up with a sweet smile at Lucas and...

Love? Platonic love is the only kind they've ever had directed at them before, so that's what they must mean, right? Max and Lucas are, after all, like pack to them, and that's a platonic love. But oh, Rowan's heart aches in their chest for something more, the glimmer of hope that whispers that the impossible has happened, that there's not just one, but two people who are not Garou and not Kinfolk but know what Rowan is. Two people that they could love - that they do already love - that they could actually enter into a relationship with that isn't based on a lie.

"I love you too." The words stumble out all too easily, as Rowan leans forward, pressing their forehead to Max's for a moment, before turning to Lucas and replicating the movement. "Both of you. But I think maybe in a different way... My pack always says I give out my love too easily, and apparently it ain't no different when it's romantic, not platonic. But I can ignore that. I don't want things to change between us."

Thankfully Max picks right up where he leaves off. For so long he'd denied himself the chance from anything more than a one night stand, but here? There's the chance for something more. His forehead touches theirs and it feels like his heart is exploding like a firework, his grin is so wide it makes his cheeks hurt.

"I think...I get you on that." His smile crinkles on its edges now. "But I also think our friendship won't change. This is just...extra?"

At least, it feels like their time together was building towards a relationship deeper than friendship, but the whole idea is still new and terrifying. That's the best he can do to put it into words.

"what I said before still stands." Max nuzzles into them. "Whatever you're willing to give is more than enough for me. I know we're all in...uncharted territory here. But what we have..." he squeezes Lucas' shoulder too, "is perfect just like it is. Because it is and always has been. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I have enough love for both of you and I'm not willing to let either of you go."

Max doesn't know how he's come to be so wise in these things, if he even is. He just knows that after living a life denied of even the possibility of more, he's not going to put a muzzle on himself anymore. He's going to say what he feels because they deserve to hear it. Because he should have been doing that all his life with the people he loved, his sister, his dad. He lost that chance. He won't make that mistake again.

"I do have questions. Since it's already said and done, I think we need to know exactly what being a Mate means to a werewolf."

Rowans’s heart leaps in confusion and hope. Do they love them, then? Actual, romantic love? It’s too much to take in, the emotional overload is starting to wear them down.

“Let’s move to the bed.” They decide abruptly. They only sat in the chair to put some distance between them - and look how well that worked. “Before you both hurt your backs.” They add, hands moving to both shoulders at the same time, marvelling at how easy it is to hold them both, to share their attention. They’re such a perfect pair together, it feels right to have them both.

Careful not to dislodge them, they unfold completely and stand, encouraging them both to take the short distance with them to the bed, where they can curl up properly together, meld into one warm ball of love. “I’ll answer anything you want when we’re all comfortable, starting with that.” They promise, giving Max a soft smile.

At Max's words Lucas smiles, nodding along. It's a sentiment he shares even if he lacks the words to voice it, but thankfully Max can and does with ease.

"Okay, okay," Normally he'd be asking questions, too, but Max has the most important one in his mind and getting comfy on the bed with both of them is exactly what they all need at the moment. "I've got like a million questions so we might as well curl up on the bed."

Lucas kicks his shoes off before flopping out on the mattress, waiting until the other two join him to pull in and complete the circle.

"We definitely need to get comfortable for this," Max jokes, lightly prodding Lucas' arm. He has a feeling once Lucas gets going, they will be here a while.

He slips off his shoes and settles onto the bed next to them, instantly curling in to fill the space between them, as if a single inch apart is too far. This is what home feels like, he thinks. He belongs here. He always will.

"Okay," he nuzzles his nose against Rowan's cheek. "Better start explaining before Lucas bursts from curiosity." And Max too, to be honest.

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